Create Great Relationships

Create Great Relationships

The digital world is a beautiful thing. Apps boost our productivity and elevate our personal lives. eBooks make reading more accessible and elegant. Social media platforms like Facebook and Twitter connect us – and allow for the sharing of information in radically new ways. But along with the opening of new frontiers that technology brings, I’m witnessing a closing of something else. We just don’t personally interact in the same ways that we once did. Tempers have grown quicker. Conversations have become shorter. And good manners are becoming obsolete.

People write things online that they’d never dare to say to another human being in person. Critics abound. Cynics flourish. And controversy seems to get more views than simple acts of decency – and humanity. Yes, I completely get I’m painting the world we reside in with some broad brush strokes. Yes, there are massive amounts of people who are polite, kind and awesome. And yes, there are complete communities of individuals interacting impeccably and doing great things. But I just wanted to put a voice to the fact that I see a loss of something as tech dominates our lives. Something simple. Something real. Something essential. We’re losing the way we used to relate to each other.

So, during this month where so many of us are thinking about celebrating the relationships that fill our lives with a depth of richness and joy, I wanted to offer you 6 of the best communication strategies I’ve learned to flourish in business and in life. I encourage you to apply these at home, at work and out on the streets with people you may not even know. As William Penn once noted: “I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again.”

#1. Be Real
Call it being authentic. Call it being yourself. The fact is that few things are as powerful as standing in the presence of a person who is really really comfortable in their own skin. What I’m suggesting is that you speak with your unique voice and that you live under your true values and that you present the real you to the world around you. Please trust me on this one. I promise you that when you get to the last hour of your last day, you will regret having lived the life society sold you versus the life that you knew deep within was meant for you.

#2. Smile
Sure this sounds obvious. But what makes greatness is the daily executing around simple ideas. And if smiling during good and hard times was so easy, then why is it so hard for most people? I travel across the planet constantly. But no matter whether I’m in Qatar or Napa, Buenos Aires or Malaysia, Mumbai or Amsterdam, a quick and genuine smile to a stranger always connects. Unites. Uplifts.

#3. Use People’s Names
The fantastic Dale Carnegie taught us well. He observed that a person’s name is the sweetest sound to their ears. And yet, it’s so very easy to forget to go the extra mile and remember – and then use – someone’s name. World-class communicators get that when they address people by name, it brings them closer. And makes them stand out.

#4. Look People In The Eye
Okay. I really need to rant mildly on this one. Sure we all have our smart phones and iPods and PCs. But this new way of communicating where our mouths move while we speak to the person in front of us but our eyes stay on the screens before us sends a message to that person that they just are not that important. The best gift you can give a customer+teammate+loved one is the gift of your presence. In this age of easy digitization, giving the human being you’re communicating with 1000% of your attention is a spectacular method to lead the field. So, look people in the eye. Engage with what they are saying. Make them feel special. No, make them feel–for the brief moments they interact with you – that they are the most important person in the world.

#5. Be Honest
Again, simple, I know. But leadership and success really does come down to the daily doing of a series of fundamentals staggeringly well. Be the most honest person you know. Let your ethics drive your behavior. And please remember, anyone can be honest when times are easy. The true measure of your leadership is how honest you are when everything’s falling apart.

#6. Choose Good Words
I was up in the mountains last weekend. Wanted to get some breakfast. Walked into a new Italian restaurant that advertised breakfast until 11:30 am. It was 11:40. I asked the man behind the counter: “Is it possible to still get breakfast?” His instant reply: “Absolutely not.” Now I understand this man wasn’t trying to be rude. He was most likely unskilled with his words. Just not a great communicator. But his words had impact (as all words do). A more effective communicator could have said, “I wish we could but we’ve just switched over to the lunch menu. I think you’ll love it. C’mon in and give it a try.” It’s all in the languaging. Instead, his words caused me to try his competitor. And to think that this is a restaurant that just doesn’t care that much.

So there you are Great Communicator. Six pretty fundamental yet powerful ways to amp up the impact of your communication during this month focused on appreciating relationships. Try them. Apply them. And innovate around them. Those around you will be grateful you did.

In Leadership,

Robin Sharma

P.S. Connect with me on facebook and twitter.

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37 Responses to “Create Great Relationships”

  1. Sudev says:

    Nobody is forcing us to be the way we are turning out to be. Maybe this is what we want to be. Wouldn’t you really want to avoid small talks and inconsequential polite words, which are borne more out of conditioning than anything else, and get down to what you really want to talk about. Much like your point 1, people are actually just being more honest. Communicating what they actually feel, without the diplomatic packaging. Now with the written form of communication, they are at more liberty to do it. People don’t want to fake a smile just to be polite, its different when it comes naturally. Maybe this is who we really are, attracted to evil, selfishness, cynicism and all that is forbidden, maybe because the ages of repressive forced culture are causing us to break out this way. I agree with all your six points though, the question is, how do I let it happen instead of making it happen.

  2. Naved says:

    Awesome points sir. I agree with them. In this world where we are surrounded by technologies,we have forgotten the Art of interacting with peoples personally. And even it is difficult to say to any person personally in front of him than through social media.

  3. Payal says:

    nice one Robinji ! :)
    So simple yet always ignored … glad to see simple things creating magic in life … Thanks for sharing !

  4. Pawan says:

    Awesome!!!! precise and worthy as always…thanks for your insights and motivation which always show us a new path in life .
    I will definately try to follow your instruction in day to day life…

    Thank you so much….and keep inspiring us.

  5. Lyn Boyer says:

    Robin, You have made some excellent points and offered some important suggestions. It is so easy to forget to do all those when we have so many emails to read or deadlines to meet. That is the dark side of technology. It makes some tasks so much easier, but it adds to the list of things that are now expected. I would add to the list: Manage promises. Keep a list of promises you have made and follow through.

  6. MaryAnn says:

    Hi Robin…How timely this article is, in this age of instant access it seems we are engaging more, but communicating less in the traditional sense of the word…these are all great strategies for being PRESENT in our conversations and relationships.

  7. Santosh N Jois says:

    Simply well said…human beings are designed to connect with all 6 senses. Man created the 7th sense called technology which can complement the 6 we are hardwired with when used wisely. Thank you.

  8. archana says:

    hi,robin sirji, i love u for ur encouraging work,aap likhte itna accha hai,aap dikhte bhi itna acche ho,when r u coming to india ,hyderabad,i would like to attend ur seminars.good work god bless u and ur family.

  9. nini johana says:

    definitivamente la tecnologia,podria ser una ayuda para superar estos afanes del la vida,pero el problema real es no saberla utilizar para lo que realmente fue diseƱada.pronto nos olvidamos de las cosas simples y sencillas…

    que bueno que existan personas que te lo hagan recordar desinteresadamente,gracias Robin Sharma,por regalarme,esos seis concejos de gran valor para mi.

  10. Kushal Nagpure says:

    hi Robin sir,
    I am realy very respectful to you. Now a days I am reading your one of the top sold book i.e. Greatest Guide which is realy inspiring me for comencement of my business. I will definately think of your idea of selling your new books by buying at discount, but at the begining of my business life I can’t take to much risk bcause here in Pune’s market people do not invest to much money on books rather they prefer to buy any second hand book from street seller.
    So give me sometime I assure you that i’l definately do something for you bcoz your book ‘Greatest Guide’ has realy made a big difference in my life and i am realy thankful to you for that. Thanking You

    Your student
    Kushal

  11. Saurabh says:

    I’ve been reading and following Sharma for months now and I’ve really begun to see improvements in my behaviour, thinking and life in general. This artilce was also great. Thank you Mr. Sharma! You gave a new angle to my life. Now following your advice, I read more books, exercise, eat healthy and try to wake up early.

  12. so glads to mr.robin u r the best writer i like is your book who sold……………………………and ….who will cry……………….morbelas thinking sir

  13. who’s next book sir

  14. What a quality post. Cultivating relationships is the point of life. No matter what setting you are in, it’s vital to have strong and meaningful relationships.

    Personal development is a must for this era. With the high amount of service jobs our goal should be to get better at dealing with people.

    I hope to hear from you!

  15. Brian Munroe says:

    One has to wondering if we just focused more on being our real, true, selves – How many other areas of communication would naturally start to fall into place. If we are comfortable with ourselves, most of us will be smiling – as an example. Great reminders Robin – Thank you for this post. “B”

  16. Dear Robin

    Thank you so such for your continued commitment to bring conscious relating and practices within work and play, which enhance people’s live and support them to uplift themselves.

    You continue to inspire me daily – I stand for your greatness. :)

    Wishing you a soul smiling evening.

    Warm regards,

    Rupali

  17. Dear Robin

    Thank you so such for your continued and relentless commitment to bring conscious relating and practices within work and play, which enhance people’s live and support them to uplift themselves.

    You continue to inspire me daily – I stand for your greatness. :)

    Wishing you a soul smiling evening.

    Warm regards,

    Rupali

  18. Vuyani says:

    Fo sure, so “…pretty fundamental yet POWERFUL…” indeed!

  19. Simplicity in its original state in communication

  20. Sneha Mantri says:

    Hello sir,
    You said so many things in very simple way & i love to read your articles cause it always inspire me.
    thanks

  21. venkat says:

    Dear Robin sir,

    Thanks for your inspirational thoughts…thanks a lot.

    Venky

  22. Mukesh says:

    Hi Robin,

    Thanks for the inspiring thoughts. I would be really happy if you can respond to Sudev (the first comment here in this thread).

    Regards,
    Mukesh

  23. densi says:

    …I wonder where are you headed Robin :)
    looking forward for your next entry

  24. Deepthi says:

    Thats so true.. We are so scared to reveal our trueselves to the world. The fact that “I care for you” is often not communicated and taken for granted.. The principles you have suggested should be voluntarily applied till it becomes a habit and I am going to try them from tomorrow. Thanks for bringing and putting these valuable thoughts into our minds. You are a teacher and we follow you..

  25. Basavaraj says:

    Thanks Robin for your inspirational article.

  26. Suneeta says:

    Hi Robin

    Thank you loads for your inspiration through all the messages you share. These are such simple things yet we tend to overlook them. Following them has helped a lot in creating great relationships. You continue to inspire me every moment!!!

    Suneeta

  27. WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW…as always simple, to the point, deeply reflective and highly effective. I couldn’t agree more with you. Thank you Robin for reminding us time and again the real things that really matter. You are doing a great work towards us, humanity. Thank you again :-)

  28. Vasu says:

    Hi Robin Ji,

    I’m very much grateful & owe you a lot. The books that you have wrote were great inspirational for me. Very indeed there is no harm following your guidance as its always gives best results on my daily life.

    Thanks a lot….May god bless you & us to support vice versa….

  29. Rihards says:

    Thank You!

  30. mamta says:

    GURU,U R JUST INCREDIBLE..

  31. saurabh patel says:

    Thank you
    Robin, for providing us such rich and valuable strategies. I promise you i’ll promote these strategies in my behaviour and the community in touch.

  32. Jaya says:

    Totally loved reading this blog. Something that reminds us of some very simple yet powerful means of communication that could help us build great relationships.
    Thanks for sharing this Robin.
    Big fan of your blogs!!!

  33. Bharti Sawhney says:

    I only wish to see you one day

  34. Raj says:

    Wonderful words indeed.

  35. rajni says:

    hi,
    The article is rejuvanating and makes sense in the world where people have bcom prone to living in cocoon only surrounded by gadgets .thanks for showing the right way to lead and live.

    keep sharing this wonderful ideas and inspiring the millions.

  36. B R Bhatia says:

    Dear Robin Ji ,

    Woooow , yes these are so simple. Thanks for reminding. My son always attend your seminars in INDIA and update us with…….thanks a lot and GOD BLESS YOU…

  37. princess says:

    i like it when things are natural, like the physical presense of a person u are talking too. Communication is not only about talking, he/ she may feel frightened and u will see it, she/he may feel sad and will see it….u will see the tranformation in front of u, u will share her/his feelings.You will see the impact of your words on that someone…. thats what i meant about the importance of physical presence

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